Monday, September 13, 2010

Another Wedding- Another Day

I am reflecting this week on the wedding from which we just returned. This was our second wedding (both daughters) in a year. Many of you know that our middle daughter Frances got married to Chris last October. Now, our eldest daughter Betsy got married to Jeff last Saturday, 9/11.

My friend Randy who just married off a daughter reminded me by text message on Saturday that this is very rough on the daddy. Remember that I am the only male in my family- wife and three daughters. I have one sister and was raised by my mother and grandmother, mostly. So, here I was awash in emotion. Tears were everywhere.

The groom’s parents were crying. The mother of the bride was crying. All the women were crying. Good grief! And I…

I, as my wife said, was charged with the responsibility of “holding everything together”. Now, that might not sound like a huge responsibility, but it is. Sure, everyone jokes that Dad’s job is to write checks and keep his mouth shut. I know. And, I have to admit that my hand is sore from writing checks, and my mouth hurts from keeping my mouth shut.

But, as usual, I was obedient and hung in there. Holding everyone together is a huge responsibility. Everyone looks to you like you know the answer. And, even if you do, you keep it to yourself.

Of course, it isn’t that clear-cut, not really. I actually was trying to hold me together. And, now that it’s over, I will spend some time unpacking what it all means- working my way through the emotions of it all. Parental love is all about rearing this child so that one day he/she will go away. We know that when we begin. We rear them to be as independent as we can make them. We teach them to work hard, and live well. We give them our faith, our love, and our hope. We invest so much of our life and time in them that when they are gone we are left asking: “What do we do now?”

Now, that this part of life is passed…we wait on grandchildren.

But, we people of faith know that no matter what our age, or our children’s ages, we are still children of God whose mission and daily life is bound up in the love of God. There is still much to do; I’m confident of that.

Here we were- Betsy and me- at the top of the stairs looking at the people (family, friends, everyone)- It was a wonderful scene. Betsy was crying and I… Well, my masculine ego forbids me to say I was crying. Let’s just say I was misting. Down the stairs, and across the lawn, we walked down the long aisle and up to the pastor.

Jesus, you remember, was with his mother and disciples, at a wedding in Cana of Galilee. Emotions filled the air. A party started. It was a grand celebration. Jesus was there. He always is present at all our services, events, and rituals. He is the one who makes whatever we’re going through joyful. He is the wine saved until last.

There’s no way to get through the sadness but to go through it. And to know that in the midst of it all, we’ve added another son (thank God for another man). And, to remember that all our lives are blessed by the presence of the Savior of the world.

Dave Nichols

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Thanks for checking out my blog. I'm new to this, as you can probably see. But, I, like you, have convictions and ideas worth sharing. I hope this will be an opportunity to connect with others who are Christian and/or religious. I am happily United Methodist. I am committed to the basic teachings of our church, and to the compassionate outreach to the world.

I hope these pastoral ponderings will generate something in you that is hopeful.

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About Me

A graduate of Newberry College and Duke University Divinity School.  I have served as a pastor in the United Methodist Church since 1975.

The Sea of Galilee

The Sea of Galilee
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